这辈子干过最疯狂的事,就是个交往对象一次面都没见着。
The craziest thing I"ve ever done in my life is that a date never met.
一次妈妈让我干活,我说你仗着是我妈就压榨我,我妈很体贴的和我角色互换了一下,我立马变得耀武扬威让我妈干这干那,现在我躺在医院一动不能动。
Once my mother asked me to work, I said you were squeezing me by my mother, my mother was very considerate and my role exchanged,
I immediately became bravado let my mother do this and that, now I lie in thehospital.
活不下去了,拿块豆腐撞死,拿块薯片割腕,拿根面条上吊,可是我还是没死成,看来是老天怜爱我,想再给我一次机会。
I can"t live, I ca n" t live, I can"t live, I ca n" t live, I can"t live, I ca n" t live, I can"t live, I ca n" t live, I can"t live, I ca n" t live, I can"t live,
I ca n" t live, I can"t live, I ca n" t live, I can"t live, I ca n" t live, I can"t live, I ca n" tlive.
这个世界你想不到的事情太多了,比如,你会觉得我会跟你讲个例子。
There are too many things you can"t think of in this world, for example, you think I" ll give you an example.
有人来追求我吗?没有?很好,说明你眼光还是不错。
Anyone come after me? No? Well, that means you have a good eye.
以后起床起不来就把闹钟设置成唢呐,醒过来了就去上班,醒不过来刚好当成奏乐送上路。
After getting up, set the alarm clock as suona, wake up to go to work, wake up just as a music on the road.
如果我没猜错的话,看到这票文章的人,手里都拿着手机吧。
If I"m right, the people who read this article have their cell phones in their hands.
为了预防老年痴呆的最有效方法就是熬夜,因为熬夜可以预防你能活到老年。
The most effective way to prevent Alzheimer"s is to stay up late, because staying up late can prevent you from living to old age.
【图片来源:李思小猴】【侵权删】