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你的脸皮真厚，厚到地球都无地自容。
You"ve got such a thick skin, it"s as thick as the earth
我胖是闹着玩的，但你丑也太认真了吧。
I"m fat for fun, but you"re too serious.
离开了就不要回来了，能带走的都是垃圾和变心的狗。
If you leave, don"t come back. What you can take away is garbage and stray dogs.
不管你圈子有多大，好好跟我说话。
No matter how big your circle is, just talk to me.
别把自己想得太过伟大，没了你，地球照样能转。
Don"t think of yourself too great, without you, the earth can still turn.
你是什么牌子的垃圾袋，这么能装。
What brand of garbage bag do you have that works?
我不是你爹娘，没有那么多故事让你惦记。
I am not your parents, not so many stories to make you miss.
虽然你身上喷了古龙水，但我隐约闻到一股人渣味。
Although you are wearing cologne, I can vaguely smell a whiff of scum.
上帝把智慧洒满人间，唯独你打开了雨伞。
God spread wisdom all over the world, only you open the umbrella.
我才喜欢你，不是因为你配得上我。
I like you, not because you"re good enough for me.
不是我性格不好，是你驾驭不了我。
It"s not that I have a bad personality. It"s that you can"t control me.
你是一条酸菜鱼，又酸又菜又多余。
You are a pickled fish, sour and vegetable and superfluous.
我根本忘了你了，看到街上的垃圾才想起你。
I forgot about you until I saw the garbage on the street.
我是没你那么白，你那么白，不就白活一辈子了吗？
I am not so white as you, you are so white, not on the white life?
麻烦你先搞清楚，是你先添得我。
Please make sure. You got me first.
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