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上一期讲到了高考作文十大雷区中的前五个。本期我们继续介绍其余的五个雷区。
雷区6：礼貌委婉意识欠缺
1. By the way, if there are extra cautions I must mind, please tell me .
2. The last thing is whether there are other attentions to pay to; please tell me.
3. Please tell me the detail place and time.
4. In addition, you need to tell me how long I swim every day, what should be prepared to go to your class, which illnesses are banned from swimming and the last one, how to get there?
5. Please answer my questions and put them in the reply.
祈使句（Imperative Sentence）是英语中的常用句式，用于表达命令、请求、劝告、警告、禁止等的句子。祈使句最常用于表达命令，因此也常称为命令句。祈使句虽然可以表示请求，但是上述例子都给人一种很不客气、很生硬的感觉。
同一个意思，表达方式不同，收到的效果也不同。 一个说话得体的人（会说话的人）应该做到讲话有礼貌、显示出善意。
雷区7：过度谦卑
Now I’m begging for more information and please allow me to raise several questions.
写信者使用 begging for more information 显然是过于谦卑，把自己的地位置于过于低下。
雷区8：直译要点信息
（一）直译“条件”
1. By the way, if there are extra cautions I must mind, please tell me .
2. The last thing is whether there are other attentions to pay to; please tell me.
3. The first thing I want to ask is the exact time and place of the swimming exercise. The second thing I wonder includes the study condition and fee.
4. What’s more, could you tell me something about the attention things?
5. Then, I have to ask you the condition and fees.
上述例子中，要点中的“条件”都被生硬地直接翻译成对应的英文：cautions, attentions, condition, 甚至是attention things，应该用不可数的抽象名词也使用了复数形式，这样无法正确传递写信者的诉求。下面是正确的解读方式：
Do you have any requirements about your students?
（二）直译“其他注意事项”
What’s more, I have never swum before, I wonder what I should notice when having a swimming class.
下面是正确的解读方式：
1. Besides, it would be better if other relevant things that should be paid attention to are mentioned in your reply.
2. Lastly, would you please tell me more about the things I should be aware of. For example, the rules for security concerns that I must obey.
3. By the way, I’m wondering if I have any other points to pay attention to, for example, will you provide a swim ring to me?
4. What’s more, what other things must I pay attention to?
雷区8：点列式列举问题
1.
2.
上述两个例子很有代表性，一个问题一个段落、用数字列举问题，全部用一般疑问句提问。
而这几个特征恰恰是导致作文低分的很重要的原因。
雷区9：中文思维左右英文表达
1. In addition, you need to tell me how long I swim every day, what should be prepared to go to your class, which illnesses are banned from swimming and the last one, how to get there?
2. The first thing I want to ask is the exact time and place of the swimming exercise. The second thing I wonder includes the study condition and fee.
3. Please tell me the detail place and time.
上述句子中，中文思维式的翻译的痕迹很明显，根本就没有考虑表达方式，就是中文怎么说，英语就怎么翻译；或者是考虑了表达方式，但是由于表达水平有限，写出的句子仍有中式翻译的痕迹。
雷区10：过度发挥，不能紧扣主题
Finally, I want to know what kind of suit I should buy. Can you give me the phone number of the instructor? Then I can ask him directly.
第一句是妥当的表达，但第二句不属于该作文的写作范畴之内的任务，是无效信息，过度发挥，欠缺内容规约意识。第三句更是一句废话。
有效交际的标准：
做任何事情都是有一套标准的。只有紧随写作目的、满足读者的需求以及礼貌得体，才能在写作中不趟雷区。
有效交际的判断标准如下：
学生优秀习作：
参考例文：
I"ve just read your advertisement about a swimming course claiming trainees will be able to swim well within one week with the help of your professional instructors. I am very interested in the course and I am writing to inquire about more information.
I want to know when the course will begin and how long it will last so I can make a proper schedule. I am also wondering where the course will be given. As I have no swimming experience, I am not sure whether I can sign up for the course. Do I have to make special preparations? And what about the fee? You did not specify it.
I would appreciate it if you could give me a timely reply.
往期回顾：
6. 高考神助力（上分秘诀）
5. 高考英语写作应避免的雷区（上）
4. 高考英语写作实操——形式训练（原创）
3. “同义异构”在高考中的运用
2. 高考完形填空技巧——短语
本文如果对你有帮助，请点赞收藏《高考英语写作应避免的雷区（下）》，同时在此感谢原作者。
