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1、我刚刚做了一个梦，梦到我的银卡离我而去，吓得我赶紧去银行查了一下，幸好，我的两块钱还在。
I just had a dream that my silver card left me. I was so scared that I went to the bank to check it. Fortunately, I still had two yuan.
2、被一道数学题难住了，于是我把题目对着天空讲了一遍，毕竟人算不如天算。
I was puzzled by a math problem, so I told it to the sky again. After all, human calculation is not as good as sky calculation.
3、你好，我是快乐警察，请你配合我的工作，现在我要抓走你的不开心。
Hello, I am happy police, please cooperate with my work, now I want to catch your unhappiness.
4、刚刚有一个超帅的男孩子抱着一大束玫瑰花朝我走过来，用很磁性的声音跟我说了一句：可以让一下吗？这花不能挤。
Just now a super handsome boy came to me with a big bunch of roses in his arms. He said to me in a very magnetic voice: can you give me a break? This flower can"t be squeezed.
5、玩手机的时候千万不要把电量用完，真的太危险了，刚刚我玩手机电量用完后突然黑屏，看到屏幕里的自己，差点被自己可爱到。
Don"t use up the power when playing with the mobile phone. It"s really dangerous. Just after I use up my mobile phone"s power, the screen suddenly goes black. Seeing myself on the screen, I was almost conquered by my own loveliness.
6、已经一小时没发说说了，怎么样，喜欢我这种沉默寡言的漂亮女孩吗？
I haven"t spoken for an hour. How about that? Do you like a beautiful girl like me who is silent?
7、你好，我是人贩子，但是我是有原则的人贩子，我不拐小孩，我只拐帅气的小哥哥，有意愿的请自觉钻进麻袋里，懒得动手了，谢谢合作！
Hello, I am a human trafficker, but I am a human trafficker with principles. I don"t abduct children. I only abduct handsome little brother. If you want to, please consciously get into the sack. I"m too lazy to start. Thank you for your cooperation!
8、怎么我脸上写了男人勿扰吗？为什么没有一个男人和我聊天。
Did I write on my face that men should not be disturbed? Why didn"t a man talk to me.
9、我是一个学渣，没事就爱吃虾，钱总不太够花，考试起来抓瞎，整天呜呜喳喳，一个爱哭鼻子的傻瓜。
I am a learning dregs, nothing like eating shrimp, money is not enough to spend, test up blind, all day whizz, a crying fool.
10、问你们男孩子一个问题，假设你十七岁，你哥们和你差不多大，你最帅的哥们微信号多少？
Let"s ask you boys a question. Suppose you"re 17 years old, your brother is about the same age as you. What"s your most handsome brother"s wechat?
11、很多人问我减肥有没有瘦，减肥没有瘦怎么了？你们上班不是也没有存款吗？
Many people ask me if losing weight has made me thinner. Losing weight doesn"t make me thin. What"s the matter? Don"t you have any savings when you go to work?
12、如果你正在读这段话就说明你爱上我了，如果你想否认，那为什么还在读。
If you are reading this passage, you are in love with me. If you want to deny it, why are you still reading it.
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