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原来你越减肥越胖的原因是:一旦发现稍微瘦一点的时候,就想吃点好的东西庆祝一下。
It turns out that the more you lose weight, the fatter you are: once you find that you are a little thinner, you want to eat something good to celebrate.
你难过的时候记得给我打电话啊,因为,我想听你虐心的事情,好让自己开心一下。
You remember to call me when you are sad, because I want to hear about your cruel heart, so as to make myself happy.
拔罐的人永远说你湿气重,美容的永远说你缺水,就像不爱你的人总在你身上挑毛病。
Cupping people always say you are wet, beauty people always say you are short of water, just like people who don"t love you always find fault with you.
早上起床脸很黄,一想工作就心慌,
可我还得继续忙,不然下月没钱浪。
I get up in the morning with a very yellow face. I feel nervous when I think about work, but I have to keep busy, or I will have no money next month.
当历史老师问你为什么交白卷时,你可以理直气壮地回答她:因为我不想篡改历史。
When the history teacher asks you why you handed in the blank paper, you can answer her rightfully: because I don"t want to tamper with history.
我人缘不好,每次和朋友聊天,总能把天聊死了,难道就因为我不会说假话吗?
I"m not very popular. Every time I chat with my friends, I always die of chatting. Is it because I can"t tell lies?
其实真正的有钱人是很低调的,外表是看不出来的,就拿我来说,虽然我经常骑个破自行车上街,但谁又会知道,其实我家里还有一辆电动车。
In fact, the real rich people are very low-key, the appearance is not visible, take me for example, although I often ride a broken bike on the street, but who will know, in fact, there is an electric car in my family.
之前说一定要早睡,再熬夜就是狗,从此之后,是人的日子越来越少了。
Before that, I said I must go to bed early, and then stay up late is a dog. Since then, people have fewer days.
谁认识刘德华,或者刘德华的经纪人请联系一下我,我想让他用冷冷的冰雨在我脸上胡乱的拍,谢谢,太TM热了。
Who knows Andy Lau, or his agent, please contact me. I want him to shoot my face with cold ice rain. Thank you. It"s too hot.
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