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有人追我吗？追到了给你开一个追悼会。
Is anyone after me? Yes, I"ll hold a memorial service for you.
别人发说说：你真是我的宝藏女孩。我发说说：你还挺能发，互删！
Others say: you are really my treasure girl. Let me say: you can send and delete each other!
天冷为了让自己多喝热水，买了一个质量很好的保温杯，一早上过去了，烫了八次嘴都没喝到一口水。
It was cold. In order to drink more hot water, I bought a high-quality thermos cup. One morning, I scalded my mouth eight times without drinking a mouthful.
我发现我总是能把人轻易地骗到床上，当我跟别人打完一把王者荣耀之后，他就会对我说，我要上床睡觉了。
I found that I can always easily deceive people into bed.When I finish playing King glory with others, he will say to me, I"m going to bed.
今天偷亲一个小姐姐被打了，我想这就是亲人两行泪吧！
Today, I fainted and a little sister was beaten. I think this is the tears of my relatives!
为什么我吵架的时候要跺两下地，因为我要告诉你，你就是个地地！
Why should I stomp on the ground when I quarrel, because I want to tell you that you are a land!
现在的女孩子真有意思，和一个男生看电影 就发说说炫耀，我和四十几个男生一起上课，我说过什么了吗？
Today"s girls are really interesting. They show off when they watch a movie with a boy. I have class with more than 40 boys. Did I say anything?
我不去 纹 身了， 纹 身 会影响我的身高，因为我爸说他会把我的腿打断。
I won"t have a tattoo. It will affect my height because my father said he would break my leg.
和同桌最默契的一句话，“刚刚老师说什么 ”“不知道 ”
The most tacit words with my deskmate, "what did the teacher say just now" "I don"t know"
评论的人每人送100元话费，联通、移动、电信任选，别问我为什么，我就是开个玩笑。
The commentators will pay 100 yuan per person. China Unicom, China Mobile and China Telecom are optional. Don"t ask me why. I"m just kidding.
面对着网课老师的辛苦讲解，我不禁陷入了沉思，很快就进入了梦乡
Facing the hard explanation of the online class teacher, I couldn"t help falling into meditation and soon fell asleep
前几天去吃火锅，然后店里墙上写的，菜是自己种的，羊是自己养的 ，油是自己榨的，请顾客放心食用，买单的时候我说，钱是自己印的，请放心使用，后来老板追我追了三条街。
I went to eat hot pot a few days ago, and then it was written on the wall of the store. The dishes were planted by myself, the sheep were raised by myself, and the oil was squeezed by myself. Please rest assured to eat. When I paid the bill, I said, the money was printed by myself, please rest assured to use it. Later, the boss chased me for three blocks.
本人因为迟到旷工次数太多，被公司评为黄金矿工。
Because I was late and absent from work too many times, I was rated as a gold miner by the company.
他们说在喜欢的人面前会变笨，难道我喜欢上作业了？不可能啊。
They say they will become stupid in front of the people they like. Do I like homework? No way.
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