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1、我长得那么漂亮，首先要感谢我爸妈，要不是他们给了我一双巧手，我能把自己P得这么美吗？
I am so beautiful. First of all, I want to thank my parents. If they didn"t give me a pair of skillful hands, could I make myself so beautiful?
2、总结了一下，近年来我获得的成功主要分为三类：登陆成功，下载成功，付款成功。
In summary, my success in recent years can be divided into three categories: login success, Download success and payment success.
3、谢谢大家的生日红包，因为没有收到，就不一一感谢了。
Thank you for your birthday red envelopes. Because I didn"t receive them, I won"t thank you one by one.
4、从来不相信一见钟情，只是在照镜子的时候会有些动摇。
I never believe in love at first sight, but I will waver when I look in the mirror.
5、谁能想到现在正在发朋友圈的完美女孩，竟然没有对象。
Who can think that the perfect girl who is sending wechat now has no boyfriend.
6、我知道我的脾气不好，如果你不能忍，你就应该好好反省一下自己，为什么别人可以。
I know I have a bad temper. If you can"t bear it, you should reflect on yourself and why others can.
7、别人懒床都是因为有钱，想睡多晚就睡多晚。我懒床是因为没钱，能省一餐是一餐。
Other people are lazy because they have money. They sleep as late as they want. I"m lazy because I don"t have money. It"s one meal to save.
8、要保持良好的心态，想开一点，起码现在的我们还有头发可以掉。
To maintain a good attitude, open up a little bit, at least now we have hair can fall.
9、虽然我人气不行，但我气人行。
Although I am not popular, I can make people angry.
10、千万不能胖，不然以后穷得去讨饭，都没人信你是乞丐。
Never be fat, or when you are poor enough to beg, no one will believe you are a beggar.
11、自从看了你身份证上的照片，才知道原来放弃一个喜欢的人，这么简单。
Since I saw the photo on your ID card, I know it"s so easy to give up a person I like.
12、从来不羡慕那些开豪车的，因为我的车比他们的都贵，那可是老婆送我的购物车。
I never envy those who drive luxury cars, because my car is more expensive than theirs. That"s the shopping cart my wife gave me.
图片来源@杨小小
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