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一，你人很好可你手机不是安卓 我们在一起后你连个段位都不能帮我上，这恋爱怎么谈
You are very nice, but your mobile phone is not Android. After we are together, you can"t even help me with a segment. How do you talk about this love
二，大家把手上的活都停停 来做道数学题 老太婆－太＝？
Everybody stop what they"re doing and do the math, old lady.-wife =?
三，感谢王者荣耀给我平淡无奇的生活增添了几分怒火
Thanks to Arena of Valor for adding a bit of anger to my mundane life
四，这么热的天没有你的冷暴力我都不知道怎么活
I don"t know how to live without your cold violence on such a hot day
五，谈恋爱很累的 要约会 要分享喜悦 要吵架 要规划未来 我呢暂时应付不过来 那就先放放 不将就 不后悔 也别耽误谁
It ’ s very tired to fall in love, to date, to share joy, to quarrel, to plan for the future, I can ’ t cope with it for the time being, then let it go first, don ’ t regret it, don ’ t delay anyone
六，我是可爱又浪漫的麻烦 成为你的甜蜜负担.
I"m cute and romantic and trouble becomes your sweet burden.
七，我非常饿 请你用温柔喂饱我.
I"m very hungry please feed me gently.
八，明明是个富二代我却自己上班挣钱 明明可以开豪车我却每天挤公交 这就是我和明明的区别
Obviously it is a rich second generation, but I go to work to earn money. Obviously I can drive a luxury car, but I squeeze the bus every day. This is the other area between me and Mingming
九，有个男孩差点为我自杀他说死也不跟我谈恋爱
A boy almost killed himself for me. He said he wouldn"t fall in love with me
十，虽然你很帅但我不知道刷到下一个帅哥时还能不能记住你
Handsome as you are, I don"t know if I can remember you when I brush to the next handsome guy
十一，靠近我之前你要想清楚我除了美一无所有
Before you come near me, you have to think about it. I have nothing but beauty
十二，失眠真的太浪费时间了早知道会失眠我刚才这一小时就拿手机玩了
Insomnia is such a waste of time. I knew I"d lose sleep. I just played with my phone in the last hour
十三，无论我们最后生疏到什么样答应我一定不要改爱奇艺密码好吗
No matter how rusty we end up, promise me you won"t change the Iqiyi password, okay
十四，古老的童谣说：“女孩子是由糖 香料以及一切美好做成的仅比天使差一点”
The old nursery rhyme says, "girls are made of sugar, spices and all that is good, only a little worse than angels."
十五，想当小蘑菇 什么都不用不干 只想撑伞发呆
I want to be a little mushroom. I don"t have to do anything. I just want to hold an umbrella and be in a daze
十六，亲爱的上帝啊，我去年许的愿望是脱单，您似乎听错了，不是脱发啊.
Dear God, the wish I made last year was to take off the bill. You seem to have misheard it, not hair loss.
十七，很多事要自己消化 于是越长越胖
A lot of things have to be digested by yourself, so the more you grow, the fatter you get
十八，现在超级想把房子卖了去旅游 可房东死活不同意
Now I really want to sell the house to travel, but the landlord does not agree
十九，其实我觉得上海的垃圾分类挺好的它好就好在我不在上海.
In fact, I think the garbage classification in Shanghai is quite good, it is good that I am not in Shanghai.
二十，我从来不为任何一个女人哭 除了我妈 因为她打我
I never cry for any woman except my mom because she hit me
二十一，早早的起来 真的可以做很多事 比如再睡一觉.
You can really do a lot of things when you get up early, like sleep again.
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